Do you ever get the feeling that you're not smart enough?

Well, cue that feeling for me the past two days and possibly the next couple of days while I'm here in Davidson. :|

I feel so out of my element here. In my sorry excuse for a school (Trust me, It is a sorry excuse for a high school. Im not even being dramatic.) I'm part of the smart people group, when I'm not being lazy, one of the people that most of my 62 fellow classmates came to for help. I get most of my stuff right and I do it with good quality. As you just read, I only have 62 students in my grade. Not much to say about my intelligence when you only compare it to 62 fucking people.

Now fast forward to me being in July Experience, an expensive 3 week academic program at Davidson college, where I'm learning college lessons with 67 other people from around the nation/world. Most of them paid for this oppurtunity. When I'm in class discussing the readings and shit, I feel so fucking stupid I want to curl up into a ball and cry. I don't know these people and they're SMARTER than me. Oh god.

Look at me now, bitching on my livejournal during my degsinated study time. o.O I am so going to fucking pass this. <sarcasm over> Oh and most of the people here actually go to a legit high school. With books and teachers and something more than a  fucking one story building. Ugh, I need to learn things. (at a high school level though; this college level is making me stressed.)

I also need to talk to people. It might just be the third day (and I'm already complaing. look at me. ) but people already have friends and my room mate and I have run out of things to talk about. News Flash: I'm boring when I don't know you. Ok. I'm done complaining. I'm going to try to get through the 40 pages I have to read.

Sorry to bore you, livejournal peeps.